What's my age again?

My Mum's favourite poem is called Warning, by Jenny Joseph. I'm sure you know the one. It begins like this:




When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in

What's my age again?

By: Unknown on: 07:17

March Barnet Bulletin.

My kid brother J has muscled in on the Barnet Bulletin by challenging me to a hair race. He's had his shaved to as close to my length as he could get, and we're now racing each other to see who can grow it the quickest. On your marks, get set, go...




Is it weird that I'm a bit jealous of J's sideburns?
Anyway, if, when you look at that photograph, your reaction is to leave a comment saying

March Barnet Bulletin.

By: Unknown on: 07:03

Reality bites.

I've just been to the shop to buy OK! Magazine. I tap-danced around getting it for a while, but conceded when I nipped out for some Flash and had enough change left in my pocket to buy the last copy on my newsagent's shelf. Sod the tap dancing. Of course I was going to buy it. The Jade Goody topic is one I've done my darndest to avoid confronting until now, like a new album I stubbornly insist on

Reality bites.

By: Unknown on: 02:07

Lessons learned.

I had lunch with my boss recently. 'So, having cancer,' she said over a bowl of miso soup. 'Do you think it's changed you?' Without really thinking, I immediately answered 'yes', cannon-launching myself into a monologue about my newly lowered tolerance for tears, particularly on reality TV shows. Whingeing on Masterchef because you ballsed up your halibut and all you've ever wanted from life is

Lessons learned.

By: Unknown on: 09:56

Restoration.

The last time we saw Smiley Surgeon it was snowing, and central London looked as beautiful as I'd ever seen it. The usually busy waiting room at the hospital was deserted thanks to cancelled appointments, and the reception staff were giddy with the work-light excitement of two kids who'd been snowed out of school. P and I arrived early (only the second time in my life I've managed this; the first

Restoration.

By: Unknown on: 10:43

School of rock.

We had a bit of an open-house day at our flat last Saturday. An opportunity to catch up with all the people who've been wanting to visit over the past few months, but who we haven't been able to see because The Bullshit got in the way. It was what my Mum would call a 'gathering'. But then she'll do anything to avoid the word 'party'. Gathering implies Monopoly and Twiglets and last tube home.

School of rock.

By: Unknown on: 04:28

25 things.

I know, I know, this is a poor excuse for a post, but in my defence: (a) I've had an unusually busy few days (more of this later in the week), (b) I've been emailed this '25 Things You Might Not Know About Me' exercise so many times that finally giving in will put an end to it and (c) since I've previously owned up to (i) filling in The Guardian Weekend's Q&A with my own answers and (ii) being a

25 things.

By: Unknown on: 13:15